this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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