Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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