He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
