That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize