ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
