Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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