The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
