She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
