i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
