Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
