Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
