Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
