I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
