Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize