can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
