ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
