i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
