are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Terrible idea I love it
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
