Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
