Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize