I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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