My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm at about main and main street
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Randomize
