Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
