its not stalking. its research.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
