I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Randomize
