she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
