TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
so let's talk penis.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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