Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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