How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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