I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
