I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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