i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
