he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Holy shit dude........stairs
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
