JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
