I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
