saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I believe in your delicious
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize