ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
her facebook's as public as her vagina
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
