Well apparently he's into motor boating.
In America we eat man semen.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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