This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
never play flip cup with pint glasses
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
