gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
