Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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