i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
