if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
