If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
