never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
