my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
