Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
