I feel like I'm in dance class right now
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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