So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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