U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
We had sex on a dog bed..
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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