I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
