it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
