Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
