We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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