i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
