Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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