There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
