I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
